From “On Wisconsin!” to “Oh, Wisconsin?!?”

It was all going so well. Last weekend we enjoyed yard work in the blazing (Wisconsin) sun, in February we were celebrating because we had actually “made it through” another winter and things were beginning to look up. My god, people were wearing shorts yesterday. Wisconsin, I really don’t know what you were thinking. Just trying to ruin the dreams of thousands of Wisconsinites who were ready for some 40-degree fun in the sun? In the middle of April I want to be geocaching and playing Ultimate, not creating melty snowmen while my teeth chatter and my snow pants fail to repel water creating a very chilling and gross sensation throughout my body. You’re making us drown in our own spring!

You’re making me want to move somewhere I can find cairn piles while trekking through a far-off land in the blazing heat. Instead, I get a hail cairn. How special.

Really, Wisconsin, you’re creating a bad name for yourself. Even the hard-core Wisconsinites who enjoy the cold are starting to get annoyed. You’re probably going to lose friends on Facebook. Is that really what you want?
When after-school activities are canceled because of inclement weather in THE MIDDLE OF SPRING, I start to get worried. Maybe you need counseling?
When my feet are freezing off, I’m suffering from hypothermia, it’s raining/hailing/snowing/puking every time I look out my window and there isn’t a sun in sight, I just think “it’s not ‘On Wisconsin’, it’s ‘Oh, Wisconsin?!?’”.


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